The Grudgemeister can report the following, thanking various spies for the information.
Tomas spent the weekend wandering from public house to public house, taking on all comers (really only two pissed Aussies with no interest in the rugby or football) and giving them an abso-bloody-loot lesson in the art of arrows. Bonus points for identifying the two Aussies Tomas rooted on the oche. My money is on George Gregan and Steve Larkham, as they had bugger all to do on the weekend apart from drown their sorrows and have their arses handed to them, again!
Tomas' darts coach, D'Artagnanshowing Tomas correct balance at the oche
Tomas definitely looks the goods for the Darts match, which I can announce, will be held in the Czech Republic at some point during the period between the 21st to 24th of October. The Grudgemeister, and assistant Grudgemeister will be present to adjudicate on any of the finer points of Grudgeathlon law, as well as accept Bribe Pints.
Noting the cost of a pint in Czech is about 50p both competitors should take heed that it will take five Czech Bribe Pints to secure the same 'impartial' ruling as one UK Bribe Pint. The Guinness Bribe Pint exchange rate is yet to be calculated, but will be posted. Suffice to say, it may require the payment of several Guinness Bribe Pints before an actual official exchange rate can be established. Grudgepetitors may attempt to set up a Guinness Bribe Pint futures option with their local publican.
ASBO jetted off to
ASBO in full Chorizo regalia
What special powers does the consumption of such a sausage endow the consumer with? The Grudgemeister is not sure, and would appreciate suggestions from the Grudgeathlon fans out there..or should that be the Nation of Grudgeathlon, as to what particular purpose ASBO has in mind with his sausage.
Is it smoked, and did he smoke it? How did he 'cure' his sausage?, if in fact, his sausage was sick? If his sausage was wilting, what disease did it have?
Members of the Grudgeathlon nation, over to you.
32 comments:
Stick it up 'em, they don't like that sir
Its a boy... and its got your eyes ben
as the top drawer cooking teacher you should know what to do with it, some onions, garlic, fresh basil, 1 bottle of dry white wine (hock to sweet), three fresh olives, pinch of pepper cook in a little virgin olive oil, serve with a tossed salad (I hear thats one of your specialities) and eat whilst warm and moist
shothe ik up Tomas arse - thideways you batthy boy asbo
strčení ono vzhůru svůj prdel benjamín knedlíček chlapec
How'd you get your sausages back thru customs, shoved up you arse? You woulda loved that ASBO
Tomas wasn't that good at darts, I took a leg off him!
sausage
[SAW-sihj] THATS THE ASBO WAY OF SPELLING IT
What started out simply as a means of using and preserving all of the animal trimmings has turned into the art of sausage-making. Simply put, sausage is ground meat mixed with fat, salt and other seasonings, preservatives and sometimes fillers. Such a mixture is usually packed into a casing. Sausages can differ dramatically depending on their ingredients, additives, shape, curing technique, level of dryness and whether fresh or cooked. Most sausages are made with pork or pork combined with other meat, but there are also those made almost entirely from beef, veal, lamb, chicken or game animals. All contain varying amounts of fat. Seasonings can run the gamut from garlic to nutmeg. Some sausages are hot and spicy and others so mild they border on bland. Many sausages today contain additives to help preserve, thicken or color the mixture. Some sausages use fillers (such as various cereals, soybean flour and dried-milk solids) to stretch the meat. The most common shape for sausage is link, which varies in size and shape depending on the type of sausage. Other sausage (fresh) is sold in bulk, which can then be used to mix with other meats or made into patties or balls. Sausage can be fresh or cured with salt or smoke (or both). Curing extends storage life. Some sausages are also dried; the drying times can vary from a few days to as much as 6 months. The sausage becomes firmer the longer it's dried. Sausage can be fully cooked (ready to eat), partially cooked (enough to kill any trichinae) and uncooked, which may or may not require cooking depending on how or whether it's been cured. All these factors produce an almost endless number of sausages that can be used in a variety of ways and which appeal to a multitude of tastes. See also andouille; andouillette; banger; bauerwurst; bierwurst; blood sausage; bockwurst; bologna; boudin blanc; bratwurst; braunschweiger; casing; cervelat; chaurice; chinese sausage; chipolata; chorizo; cotechino; cotto; crepinette; frankfurter; frizzes; haggis; head cheese; italian sausage; kielbasa; kishke; knackwurst; leberkäse; linguiça; liverwurst; lop chong; loukanika; luganega; mettwurst; mortadella; pepperoni; pork sausage; salami; salsiccia; saucisse; saucisson; summer sausage; thuringer; tongue sausage; toulouse; weisswurst; wurst; zampone; zungenwurst.
OR IN ASBO'S CASE ARSE FILLER
is that you Jake?
I was the other abo to play darts with Tomas. I invited him back to my flat to see if he could hit my bullseye, but he wasn't interested. Said he was after a man with a sausage. Is he a vegemite driller?
I noticed ASBO wasn't at the George last Friday. If he had been there, I woulda taken him out!
Could I have helped Minesh?
I don't want Gordon here either. He swears too much!
The Sausage’s training is different
Not all grudgepetiors are like Ben “The Sausage” Clancy. The sprinter’s training in the summer season is very different from what’s considered traditional sprint training: Running with a continental piece of meat up his jacksy
"No one is going to come and tell me that “moosehufs” is fun" said Ben. But with this new approach to training I find that I can go the extra inch
Where did asbo go this weekend? latest from reuters...
Madrid (Reuters) - Staff at a Spanish butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to London, police said on Sunday.
"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Estepa.
After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English,(now we know its asbo after a pint or five) returned to the butcher's with two large "Chirizo" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for London the next day.
But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 30, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.
"He could have used a loaf of bread," the spokesman said. "It's not against the law here. But obviously I can't speculate on what customs in London will have to say about it."
Mr Harris. Im sure you took a leg off Tomas. His middle leg you raging homo.
Thats 2 swear words Minish. You owe me £1.
To Dudley Moore,
Aren't you dead? I'm pretty sure I am.
Dudley can't be dead, everyone knows dead people can't post on blogs.
I have been sent this link to this site and frankly I'm appalled, the involvement of our community whether real or not shows a lack of proffessionalism. To involve our pupils either as a reference point and especially in a degrotary manner leaves me speechless. Your involvement as carers is unethical and I must insist that this site is closed forthwith.
ps. Ben, I hope that you are having a side bet on yourself as you are going to need the money, as you wont get any from me
I am sure that dudley moore is dead, didn't he come to a shakey end?
If dead people can't post, they can't order drinks either, so make mine a double.
I saw the the Historian having a little bit of trouble typing in the web address for this blog site yesterday. Seems grudgeathlon doesnt have an 'l.' Maybe his spelling isnt all its cracked up to be.
isn't has an apostrophe you goose
nice one Grudgey, you can tell that was by the REAL ASBO
doesn't requires an apostrophe to, Señor Grudgemeister!
don't you mean 'too' Lynne, you jumped up grammar Nazi. Grudgemeister has issued his first banning... sayonara you hack journo
I see Asbo picked up a spelling error, not suprising as we can see - he's a poet on the side - located on a scrap of borrowed paper during a lecture last Thursday afternoon:
Grave Dancer- Ben Clancy (11/10/07)
I'm gonna be your grave dancer baby
Im gonna be the one who fades away
Im gonna be your heart and soul darling
Im gonna be a new paved road and your gonna walk all over me
And im gonna lift my feet off the ground
And im gonna spread my wings and your heart at the same time
Im gonna take the dirt for granted baby
Im gonna bury your dying heart
Im gonna be your grave dancer baby
And your gonna pick me up as i fall apart
Im falling faster than your thinking
And its not my soul your taking
Im the one whose on the rebound
You'd better think twice before you let me touch the ground
Yeh I'll be your grave dancer baby
Ill be the knife stuck into your heart
Ill be a better piece of you baby
Just give me a chance before i fall apart
Yeh I'll be a candle burning for you baby
Ill be the one you come home to if you want
Yeh I'll be your grave dancer baby
Yeh ill be the one who tears you apart
Im falling faster than your thinking
And its not my soul your taking
Im the one whose on the rebound
You'd better think twice before you let me touch the ground
Yeh ill be your grave dancer baby
Bury you shallow so you can feel my feet
Yeh ill be your grave dancer baby
But im afraid im already in to deep
more from the clancy world of words
its is war, anger, betrayel, death, water, wine, jesus
in this ink is every emotion known to man
so this ink is not going to fall
no
it is not untill i can define myself by its presence on the page
not untill with it i can make u cry and wipe your tears at the same time
so know this is not weakness
this is not a block
and i am certainly not stuck
this is purley me preparing to blow you away
to change the world
to bring u back to basics
this is not a block
i am not weak
i am strong
i am only deciding how to use my strength
to correct your weakness
LEADVILLE, Colo. -- While conducting a mineral survey at the bottom of Mt. Elbert, geologist Harvey Long found the wreckage of an extraordinary craft.
"Only a portion of the large vessel was uncovered," said Long. "Based on the stratum in which it was buried, my guess was that it had crashed into the base of the mountain more than 80 years ago. At that time, we had nothing flying that was made of this kind of metal -- or had this kind of configuration.
"Resonance imaging of the substratum suggested that the vehicle was shaped like a teacup."
Long alerted the authorities, who sent experts to investigate. "This is actually the third flying teacup we've found," said Dr. Ben Clancy of the Colorado Center for Alien Activity.
"We unearthed one in South Dakota five years ago, and another in Nevada a few months before that. Finding this third ship strongly supports my theory."
Clancy believes that many of the flying saucer sightings since 1947 have been aliens looking for these flying teacup ships.
he will believe anything after 8 pints
When ASBO takes on Tomas,in Tomas's home country next week it will be like when Rocky travelled to Russia to fight Ivan Drargo in Rocky 4!!!
Rocky I was the best!
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