Tomas "I will DESTROY you" Bek.
Fresh from an intensive course the ancient martial art of D-struk-shun in Japan, the pride of the Czechs was able to test out his recently acquired 8th Dan skills on the baggage handlers from Air France who lost his luggage.
Suffice to say, those froggies are still nursing broken bones. On the said incident, Tomas was quoted as saying "...anyone can get into a fight on the tube when they're half cut, it takes a real MAN to terminate more baggage handlers in half an hour than Heathrow has managed in four years of voluntary redundancy packages."
Looks like ASBO might have repeated his 8 plates of prawns effort at the all you can eat seafood palace in Brisvegas..... i.e. bitten off more than he can chew.
In the green and gold corner, let's hear it for the Beast of Brisvegas,Ben "ASBO" Clancy
Many moons ago, Britain sent the dirtiest, filthiest roughest and toughest out to Oz. Two hundred years of controlled criminal breeding has produced ASBO, a man who'd spit on you as soon as look at you, then follow up with a left right combination before kneeing you in the nuts to finish you off.
As the reigning Grudgeathlon champ of the southern hemisphere, ASBO knows this will be no pushover. More than likely, he'll just have to wait a few minutes before the gentlest of breezes send the geek from Czech crashing to the floor, begging for mercy.
Fear? He can't spell the word. Surrender? He thinks there might be a u in it somewhere, but can't be sure. In fact, name a word, he can't spell it! ASBO is detemined to make Tomas eat his words, which means Tomas will be eating a lot of z's, c's and k's as that's all the Czech alphabet seems to consist of.
26 comments:
Do we have a date and a venue for this mano a mano testosterone treat?
Venues will vary. Dates and times of the fixtures will be posted here, along with reports of the events. At present, the first event (darts) will take place in the Czech republic sometime late October.
overheard today from ASBO
"better start training for the chin ups, reckon 30 should be a winner"
the trouble is the only chin ups that ASBO knows are related to the cracking of knuckles on the lower jaw of fellow oyster card holders which is no mean feat when most of the time they are dragging on the floor
Am I mistaken or does ASBO's neck emerge from his left shoulder. Surely a match between mutant and humn should not be allowed.
tom born April 7, 1983 in Vyškov, Czechoslovakia) is a former international butterfly and freestyle swimmer, who competed for Canada at the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, South Korea. There he finished in 12th position in the 100m Butterfly, and in ninth place with the Men's 4x100m Freestyle Relay Team. ASBO did you know this?
further background information on tom:
grew up with BK SCE Decin (Czech Republic) youth team. Made his debut with BK SCE Decin during the 1996-97 season, played there also the 1997-98 championship. Played college basketball at Valparaiso University (1998-02). Moved to Italy for the 2002-03 season, signed by Fortitudo Bologna. Then signed for the 2003-04 season by Pallacanestro Virtus Roma, played there also the 2004-05 championship. Moved to Spain for the 2005-06 season, signed by Joventut Badalona.since then has taken anyone who dares to question his sporting skills - you have been warned ASBO
Tomas: A Rising Czech Star
Our country has a reason to be proud. I have seen a real contender in the making, a possible challenger on the world level. Everyone is eager. Everyone is wondering, will this guy be the one who puts Czech darts on the map? Remember this name, Tomas. If this is a just world, you will hear the name.
Some background on how I first met Tomas. It was the Eastern Bohemian year-end finals. They consist of the final blow-out tourney on Saturday, and the championship on Sunday.
The prizes on Saturday consisted of televisions, stereos, bicycles, satellite dishes, trophies, and the grand prize, a really cool looking motor scooter.( By Western standards this may not be impressive. It's no world championship 1,000,000$ grand prize. But, for us, it's a really nice payout.) This is the tourney that everyone works all year for. The pressure on the players is the biggest of the year.
As the tourney started entering the upper brackets, there was a new name being heard. Ludvik Pilo, of Vertruby. Who is this guy I wondered? He began to knock off some of the bigger names. I went out in 25th place. Not bad considering I've not had any time for training. I heard him called against a teammate of mine, so I wandered in to watch. My teammate promptly got beat. So I asked Tomas how long he had been playing. He said since he was 12 and a half. My jaw literally hit the ground. Tomas has only been playing for a year and a half. Yes, that's right. He finished the day in 5th place, an excellent result. He won a big hi-fi stereo. He won something more important that night, respect from a lot of adults who had been humbled by this 'magician of the arrow'
The next day we started the championships. We play for a traveling trophy. The trophy is huge and beautiful. Our main sponsor, Jan Subr, is also a trophy maker. This is the championships. Sure enough, Ludvik was there. I lost straight out , so that left me time to watch the youngster as he beat player after player. Nerves, we all know how bad they can get. But can you imagine being Czech, and every eye is on you? As the matches got nearer to the finals, everyone watched Tomas play. I've never seen anything like this. Normally players lose interest until the final itself. Not today, because there was something to watch.
The final on the right side of the web started and Tomas was still there. His hands very steady as rain. He wasn't panicking. He threw like a machine, with rythmn and purpose. He won the match 2-0 and advanced to the finals. The battle raged on the left side and a member of our league won. Zdenek Bek would play in the final. Everyone wanted to see this fairy tale come true and see Tomas win. I had seen adults acting like adults for a change today. No throwing darts, no cussing, no yelling, because we had to lose like gentlemen today. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ASBO
Zdenek threw well, at least one triple every round. But, so did Tomas. tomas hit his doubles on the first throw. Tomas won! Remember, he didn't win the junior title; he won THE title. And the place went wild. The clapping and the cheering went on and on. His mother had to fight to get near him. He was carried around on our shoulders. Everyone was proud. We have someone special here, I hope we don't forget that.
My darting organization doesn't do much for the youth. That's a shame. Perhaps, now things will change. We've been shown the potential of the young players. Actually, we've been slapped across the face with it. Earlier, I said if this was a just world, you'd hear the name again. A hard reality; our country isn't a wealthy country. Tomas's opportunities to advance are going to be limited. I hope he gets some breaks and gets to play in some international tourneys. I hope so, but it's going to be a difficult journey.
It's a shame there are so many other Tomas's out there; youngsters full of talent. The next Phil Taylor, but in a country where darts aren't a national sport. A family without the resources to send a kid around the continent to live up to his potential. We have a phrase here," To je skoda," It means , it's a pity.
All that is very impressive Historian, but I have it on good authority ASBO is able to neck three pints, slam his balls in the fridge door and then run a four minute mile.
Puts all this so called 'international' sporting achievements into perspective, pas il?
i knew my past would catch up with me
ASBO is a puff he wears girls knickers when he does bike riding on fridays. ASBo the girlyknickerwearingpuffgirlyknickerwearingpuffgirlyknickerwearingpuffgirlyknickerwearingpuffgirlyknickerwearingpuff
thats nothing
I heard a story about a rugby player who dislocated his hip/leg during a game. He went into the med room, the physio popped his hip/leg back into place, and the rugby planned screamed with agony. The physio was surprised; he realized it would hurt a bit, but from this guy's reaction it seemed that something else was wrong. It turned out that one of the guy's testicles had become trapped when the joint was popped back into place.
My son was born with both testicles descended
and in normal position. Though he had
numerous examinations by his peditrician and
a pediactric urologist (due to reflux
hydronephrosis) neither of them ever noticed
any abnormality. At Age five he was struck by
an automobile (25 MPH) while on a skateboard.
Aside from bruises and road burns,his urine
showed 20-30 RBC/HPF, and a small amount
occult blood. A CT scan
revealed a atrophied right kidney, and
further testing presented grade IV-V reflux
bilaterally. He never had a single episode of
pyleonephritis. It was soon after this
accident that I noticed the right testicle
was not descended. The next month he
underwent orcheopexy for the testicle and
ureteral reimplantation for the reflux. He is
now four years post-op and exhibits a small,
scarred right kidney and left compensatory
hypertrophy. Is it possible the trauma of the
accident caused the testicle to retract and
the renal scarring?
this also accounts for his lack of spelling skills and ability to drink vast amounts of lager
Do we have another gay boy fantasist here. I dunno about you, but historian sounds like he's a taker. Are you paultalbotart in disguise?
yeah yeah 10 or is it 15 pin bowling - I am chapion no campion I will deatroy you
Achievements
[edit] 2000
During his final year at Kinross Wolaroi School, ASBO became the first Junior Australian to bowl a 300 game overseas and in the same year, he took out five Gold medals at the Junior National Championships. He was also selected in the Youth Australia team, and also held a place in this team in 2002 and 2004.
[edit] 2001
Ben was the Australia Day 'Orange Junior Sportsperson of the Year' and he took out the Senior Award in 2002 along with the 'Orange Sportsperson of the Year' award, which he repeated in 2003.
[edit] 2002
Ben won one Gold, one Silver and two Bronze medals at the Commonwealth Championships in Scotland and a Silver medal at the WTBA World Youth Championships in Thailand. In that year, ben was selected in the Australian Open men's team, where he remains to the present time.
[edit] 2004
ben took three gold, one silver and one bronze in the Asian Youth FIQ in Hong Kong and he followed this up in the World Youth FIQ titles in Guam with a gold in the Singles and a gold in all events.
2004 also saw ben compete in the AMF World Cup in Singapore where he was lead qualifier and never lost the lead in five days of qualifying events, finishing in 5th place after being knocked out in the quarter final. Jason won the very prestigious 2004 'Bowler of the Year' award, voted by the Board of Directors of the World Bowlers Writers Association.
[edit] 2005
ben was invited to participate in the World Tenpin Masters in England where he was a beaten semi-finalist. In this event, benmade history by bowling the first ever 300 game in the event, which was filmed by Matchroom Sport.
[edit] 2006
ben represented Australia in the World Youth Championships in Berlin. He was part of the team to take the gold medal in the Team Event and went on to make the Masters after finishing in sixth place in the All Events. He was defeated in the second step of the Masters by the eventual winner, Mads Sandbaekken from Norway.
[edit] 2007
ben was once again invited to take part in the World Tenpin Masters, held at the Barnsley Metrodome. Jason went on to win the tournament, and in the process bowled the events second ever 300 game against England's Paul Moor in the final. ben rolled 23 out of a possible 24 strikes to win the event with a 566 score for two games, against Moor's 524.
ben particiapted in the 2007 World Ranking Masters [1] and after qualifying in 2nd position, was defeated in the quarter finals by the runner-up of the tournament Peter Ljung from Sweden, 2-0 (190-258, 158-279). ben finished in 6th place.
[edit] Miscellaneous
ben is known for his two-handed style with only two fingers to produce more revolutions on the bowling ball than most other bowlers.
He appeared as a guest of the Fox Sports television program The Back Page on 4 June 2007.
Ha Ha you all thought I was off in europe drinking myself stupid, well more stupid than I am -
get your fingers stuck in those holes big boy Tomas
i well dastroy yuo
i have no history and i'm appalled at all the sexual attention the guru is giving to a certain poster sort youself out boy or I'll set ASBo on you - yeah you heard me right
Historian,
Piss off and join paultalbotart for late night knee trembler in the bogs on Hampstead Heath.
ben you will beat this man i have seen how strong you are, you ave mussles big on your right arm these i saw when you were at drinking pub in brick lane on sunday. call me
уничтожить
you ave my number?
call me before i leeve for madrid ok
hope you're better at these sports than you are at rooting ASBO
i am waiting for you big ben plees call me iam at home at present aqnd have 2 liters of coke that needs satisfying
My favourite album is Apettite for destruction from Guns and Roses.When I listen to it I think of ASBO!!!!
When ASBO thinks of appetite, he's dreaming of being able to eat a seventh plate of prawns at the all you can eat seafood bar in Brisvegas.
Talbo! Is that really you? My knees got damp waiting for you in the bogs of the heath.
As you know I have been practising my beer drinking lately and have kept a record of how much I have drunk - I'm looking forward to adding the keg onto that list Tomas.
Year : 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
January : .... 53.0 17.0 35.0 46.0 68.5 57.0 55.0 73.5 65.5
February : .... 63.5 42.0 39.0 69.5 66.0 30.0 72.0 73.0 86.0
March : 44.5 61.5 24.5 70.5 56.0 64.5 69.0 63.0 70.5 105.5
April : 39.0 51.5 73.5 52.0 58.0 76.5 60.0 60.5 60.0 86.5
May : 33.0 51.5 23.0 48.0 60.5 55.5 72.0 59.0 90.5 88.5
June : 29.5 40.5 31.0 62.5 61.5 50.0 66.0 73.5 81.5 76.0
July : 29.0 61.0 37.5 25.5 59.5 68.0 78.0 105.5 87.0 90.5
August : 40.5 43.0 53.0 51.5 72.5 89.5 52.5 97.0 109.5 106.0
September : 43.5 51.5 9.0 48.0 43.5 50.5 59.5 44.0 76.0 69.0
October : 70.0 46.5 43.5 63.5 62.0 83.0 58.5 70.0 73.0 81.5
November : 62.0 10.5 17.0 63.0 57.0 56.5 72.0 97.5 95.0 112.5
December : 48.0 26.5 36.5 70.5 59.0 55.5 84.0 77.0 92.5 85.0
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Total : 439.0 560.5 407.5 629.0 705.0 784.0 758.5 874.0 982.01052.5
Year : 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
January : 110.0 87.5 112.5 102.0 111.0 97.5 83.0 87.0 53.0 70.0
February : 108.0 106.5 110.0 112.5 113.5 131.5 124.0 108.0 76.0 119.5
March : 100.5 114.5 112.5 130.0 127.5 120.0 120.5 128.5 113.5 81.0
April : 85.0 129.0 132.0 146.5 120.0 76.5 120.0 67.0 125.0 93.5
May : 90.0 120.5 152.5 131.5 127.5 114.0 115.0 123.0 100.5 95.5
June : 82.5 111.5 118.0 123.0 146.5 104.0 96.5 107.0 77.5 84.0
July : 120.0 129.0 131.0 123.5 99.5 113.0 111.0 78.0 88.5 97.0
August : 130.5 88.0 115.0 125.0 110.0 117.5 115.0 97.5 95.5 80.0
September : 41.5 116.5 119.5 119.0 109.5 111.5 93.0 100.5 80.0 79.5
October : 100.0 144.5 140.5 144.5 111.0 119.0 113.0 72.5 90.0 ....
November : 138.0 137.0 139.5 143.0 140.5 135.5 118.0 85.5 116.0 ....
December : 90.5 155.0 133.0 120.5 162.5 113.5 110.5 35.0 80.5 ....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Total :1196.51439.51514.01532.01479.01353.51199.5 947.51097.0 800.0
Grand Total = 20002.5 pints
of interest...
an insider today was informed that Tomas was off to the doctors to have a 'shot'
further sources inform me that this is his monthly dose of Hydroxyprogesterone (17-OH progesterone or 17OHP performance enhancing steriod. Tomas quoted 'its been used by Czech farmers for the last 30 years, they make good harvest and grow big animals.
Asbo: you need to increase your levels of Estradiol (17β-estradiol) to have any chance of beating him (though as we know - being destroyed is inevitable)
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