Back on the Grudge

A Happy, if belated, New Grudge to you all.
The Twelve Days of Grudgemas are but a distant memory, Chinese New Grudge fast approaches, so it must be time to get the Grudgeathlon back into the swing of things.

The Cheating Czech returned home for bit of R & R over Grudgemas, linking up with Brad Pitt to finalise his tactics in the upcoming events. Should be pretty interesting seeing what Brad has in store for ASBO. I think it might start with a B, and end in arra!

ASBO, after a month or so of his gob being permanently open under a beer tap, finally sobered up enough to realise he didn't have a crazy mirror installed in his bathroom, he was a fat bastard. A month of forsaking the piva is the New Grudge Resolution for ASBO, who in between organising the West Hendon Temperance League has taken time off work this week to augment his fitness program with a 48 hour projectile vomiting binge.

Next scheduled event is the freestyle swimming. More details on swimming to follow, but be aware we are still having difficulty in locating a body of water within the confines of the M25 safe enough for ASBO to dive into without causing a flood of biblical proportions in the home counties. At present we are negotiating with the authorities on a venue, but it may well be we are forced to hold this event east of the Thames Flood Barrier.

The Thames Flood Barrier prepares for an ASBO belly-flop

Over the off season, both Grudeathletes have been busy preparing for the Grudge Golf tournament. An ASBO selected event, no doubt chosen in part due to the absence of golf courses in Czech Republic, this one has all the hallmarks of an absolute Grudgetastic classic for the fans.

If the practice rounds are anything to go by, don't forget your video camera, extra tape and spare battery, then make sure your Youtube account is in order, as you'll be spending the two days after the event uploading the myriad of hooks, slices, club throwing, temper tantrums and all round golf shitness these two will put on display. The Grudgemeister gave his old golf partner "Park a" Tiger Woods a call, and Park a jumped at the chance to give the Grudgeathletes a few pointers whilst the awesome foursome of Woods, Meister, ASBO and Destroy hit (literally, repeatedly and invariably in a fit of pique) the fairways at a prestigious North London Golf Club.

Park a ready to chauffeur the boys around in the specially designed Grudgecart.

After a few practice swings under Woods' watchful eye, our Grudgeathletes hit the first tee. Then they hit it again and again as each played a mongrel dribbling piss poor drive that barely got past the ladies tee. Grudgemeister and Park a both nailed a hole in one first up, thankful that with ASBO off the piss, the traditional shouting of the bar would cost no more than £5.75, as opposed to £8 million it would have cost pre January 2nd.

ASBO sizing up a putt, or is it that abandoned half eaten kebab he's spied in the bushes?
(add your own 'crack' pun to the comments section please)

Tomas keeping his cool despite missing another 3 inch put for double triple bogey

ASBO renews acquaintances with North London GC member Bob Barker

Whilst the Woods and the Meister traded aces, ASBO and Tomas continued to criss cross the fairways, surround themselves with more sand than lost camel jockey does, demonstrate a hydrophilicity previously believed impossible and throw more temper tantrums than a creche full of ADHD afflicted 2 year olds. 'Highlights' of the round included ASBO going for a swim, and Tomas demonstrating little ablility in one ancient Scottish game (golf) but a good deal of promise in another ancient Sottish game (Caber Tossing)

ASBO gets in a little extra swimming practice during his golf round


Tomas confuses his 7 iron with a Caber

"Park a" and the GM left the Grudgeathletes searching for lost balls on the 3rd. Last reported sighting of ASBO was in the water hazard on the 12th. Search and rescue teams are at present attempting to locate him.

Searching for ASBO

Tomas was last photographed trying to get up and down from the somewhere off the fourteenth fairway. Last know photos are below. If anyone knows his whereabouts, please contact 1-800-GRUDGE with the details.

Tomas yells "FORE!", but does anyone hear him?